http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F15thKUEECQ
I stoned and missed it
Oh yes boys play it sweet for me
I was sittin' in my basement I'd just rolled myself a taste of
Somethin' green and gold and glorious to get me through the day
When my friend yells through my transom grab your coat an' get your hat son
There's a nut down on the corner a givin' dollar bills away
But I sat around a bit and then I had another hit
And then I rolled myself a bomber thought about my momma
Looked around fooled around played around while and then
I got stoned and I missed it I got stoned and I missed it
I got stoned and it rolled right by
I got stoned and I missed it I got stoned and I missed it I got stoned oh me oh my
It took seven months of urgin' just to get that local virgin
With the sweet face up to my place to fool around a bit
And next day she woke up rosy and she snuggled up so cosy
But when she asked me how I liked it Lord it hurt me to admit
I got stoned and I missed it...
I ain't makin' no excuses for so many things I uses
Just to brighten my relationships and sweeten up my day
But when my earthly race is over and I'm ready for the clover
And they ask me how my life has been I guess I have to say
I was stoned and I missed it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaQGRkmhKB8tp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaQGRkmhKB8
Ever Lovin Machine
Well friends you know once I was took in by a girl with a twinkly eye
But the first time that I wasn't lookin' she ran off with a handsomer guy oh my
But I'm an inventin' type feller so as soon as my brain got uncurled
I tiptoed right down to my cellar and built a mechanical girl
Oh her arms are iron her legs are steel her hips are on wires attached to a wheel
And her spine is a coil that I now and then oil she's my ever lovin' machine
She's always right there when I need her and she's very easy to please
And hardly cost nothing to feed her just some water and oil and grease
She never complains when I stay out all night she never complains that I ain't rich
And each time I want her just to cuddle me up tight
I just reach out and turn on 'er switch
Oh her arms are iron...
She has no trouble makin' her mind up cause friends I did not give her a mind
And her heart is a clock that I wind up so I know that she'll love me in time
She always did what she was supposed to right up to this evening but then
She had an affair with a toaster and they ran off and left me again
Oh her arms were iron her legs were steel her hips were on wires attached to a wheel
And her spine was a coil that I used to oil she was my ever lovin' machine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJauawPKNm0&list=RD11F15thKUEECQ
The Ugliest Man In Town
Handsome guys get girls that are pretty
Other guys make it cause they're clever and witty
But the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I'm the ugliest man in town
Yeah I drive down the street in a Roys Rolls car
Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar
But you know folks that really don't get you very far
When you're the ugliest man in town
There was a note on the doorstep where I was found
Is said this poor child weighs eleven pounds
So bring him up healthy and welthy and sound
Keep his back to the light don't let him turn around
Yeah all you women you're heartless and cold all you want is my silver and gold
Don't you know I've got a beautiful soul though I'm the ugliest man in town
Yeah I'm so ugly I gotta shave in the dark
The kids start to cry when I walk through the park
The clock stop tickin' and dogs start to bark whenever I come around
Oh oh oh I walk down the street the girls all hiss me
If I died tomorrow not one of them would miss me
Only reason they ball me is they can't stand to kiss me
I'm the ugliest man in town oh yeah the ugliest man in town
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-hYLL7Gpos
A Boy named Sue by Johnny Cash
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."
Well, he must o' thought that is quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."
He said: "Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-bitch that named you "Sue.'"
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!